i don't usually ask for RL advice on here, but i'm at a total loss.
my oldest, Lily, is in kindergarten and i pretty much hate her teacher. Lily has been getting in trouble at school and honestly, i don't agree with about 50% of what the teacher is punishing her for.
my ex, (Lily's dad) suffered from ADHD. i've noticed some similarities in behavior with Lily. her mind wanders a lot, and when helping her with her homework, i have to remind her to pay attention. i've brought this up with her doctor a few times, but he's not comfortable with diagnosing her with anything at such a young age. (which i agree with. she's only 5) he thinks with time she might grow out of it, or with the right help and amount of patience, she might be able to deal with it. Lily has gotten a bit better in the past 6 months but it's still an issue.
her teacher seems to be punishing her for this behavior. this past week she was given "red marks" twice. once for making faces at other students in the lunch room (this actually resulted in a visit the the principals office, a call home to me, and losing some privileges) and then for "wandering around the classroom". a few months ago, Lily asked permission to use the restroom during lunch, was denied, so she went on her own. this also resulted in a visit to the principals office, a call home, loss of privileges AND she had to sit a lunch table alone for a whole week. i did not agree with this punishment at all. so i contacted the teacher and her response was "we expect the parents to follow through and explain to the student that this behavior will not be tolerated"
when i had a parent teacher meeting in december, the teacher flat out told me that Lily probably needed medical assistance for her lack of focus and that if this behavior kept up, she wouldn't pass 1st grade. (mind you, Lily is still in kindergarten. idk why she brought up 1st grade)
almost every time Lil gets a a red mark and a note from her teacher it contains the words "Lily needed several reminders to follow directions." Lil still attends daycare on some days and they never have any issues with her not following directions.
i don't want to be one of those parents that goes running to the school complaining about how a teacher is picking on her kid but that's kind of what it feels like. i WAS picked on by a teacher in middle school, and it resulted in big meeting and eventually the teacher had to give me a formal apology. so, it is possible that i'm still bitter about that experience.
i understand that it's public school and there are about 25 kids in her class, and he teacher can't spend a lot of individual time with Lily but then again, i feel like the teacher isn't really trying. that's she's just getting fed up and punishing her instead.
so campers, i know there are lots of parents here and some teachers as well .what should i do? should i have another meeting with the teacher? because honestly i'm about to the point of tell this school to EFF off and kiss my sweet, white ***. (there have been other issues with the school too, like them putting her on the wrong bus, and not letting Lily put lotion on her hands or use anti-bac even though her hands are cracked and bleeding from washing them 100 times a day)
HELP ME PLEASE! =D
ETA: i feel like i should add that i KNOW my kid is no angel and there have been times when she's done something at school that i felt the punishment was appropriate. but overall, she's a pretty well behaved, polite, little kid.