This is my first campfire - it's free for all, right? If not, I'm very sorry for posting too soon! But I could really use some advice...

Okay, necessary backstory: I'm adopted. I've always known I'm adopted. I was adopted at 3 years old (I'm 38 *cringe* now). My adoptive parents also adopted my older sister (from a diff family). Both my sister and I have issues that stem back to our upbringing with our adoptive parents. Showing emotion was frowned upon in our family - there were no hugs or 'I love yous' in our house. In fact, at 38 I can count on one hand the number of times my mother has said that to me and even less times that she's initiated a hug. Because of this, I've never felt that family bond. My sister and I are very different people and we aren't really close. I talk to her maybe a few times a year at most, more when it has to do with my parents health issues - my mom is 80 and my dad is 83. Over the past year, my mom has had a heartattack and several small mini strokes - that combined with severe dementia has left her in pretty bad shape. On Easter, she couldn't remember who I was - at all. On Mother's Day, I think she vaguely recalled who I was at least. So things are pretty bad at this point and only going to get worse.

Regardless of my issues with my mom, I love her very much, and all I've ever wanted was for her to love me back...but I'm just not sure that's the case - since she certainly never showed it.

 Because of this (and just out of curiosity), I had been seriously considering trying to find my birth mother before my mom took a turn for the worse last year. My mom had actually given me all the paperwork she had from my adoption (though she had no idea I was thinking about it at the time). The problem is on the only form that contained my birth mother's last name she had tried to erase it, then scribbled it out, then resorted to a thick coat of whiteout. It was obvious she didn't want me to know, for whatever reason...or maybe it wasn't her that did it? I don't know, but I've tried to take it off with no success. I know that my birth mother was 13 when she gave birth to me and took me home, only to end up giving me up a few months later. I was the product of a violent crime (I'm sorry but I can't say the word, or even type it - so I hope you can figure out what I mean from that) and it's been hard coming to terms with the fact that my biological father is a monster (and not the imaginary kind). How do you make peace with that, ya know?

My first question: Is there a way to find information about birth parents from simply a birth date and town? Unless it's for medical reasons, can I even inquire about them at all? I do know my first name was the same and what my original middle name was - just not the last name.

My second question: Am I being selfish wanting to find out info on my birth mom considering the traumatic circumstances that led to my birth? The last thing I want to do, is hurt her more...I feel incredibly torn and guilty about wanting to find her. On one hand, I just want to know so badly if I have any half-siblings...but would it be hurting them, as well? God, I don't know!

Any advice? I could sure use it. And feel free to be honest and tell me I'm just being selfish. I really think that I am. God, I really am a horrible person, aren't I? *sigh* =/

 >>>> just messing around and ran into this news ...

 Banned Sex In Florida

what do u think??, does someone lives in florida? 

I am trying to make the author I beta for a birthday present.  Hope she doesn't read this!  But I am in desperate need of someone who can help me make the graphic to put on a t-shirt.  It's a very simple design and would take someone who knows what they are doing very little time. 

Is anyone willing to give it a go?  I have a word file of what it needs to look like that I can send immediately to anyone who could give it a try and I would give my undying love and support to you for all of eternity which is a long time for us vamps, right? 

Thanks,

Beans827 

please private message me by clicking on my icon!

Am I the only one who thinks Mariah Carey is effing crazy?

I mean, seriously.  I've followed her pregnancy pretty closely (because I have no life and am drawn to her like one is drawn to train wrecks and natural disasters) and the whole thing has been one massive "Look At Me!" festival.

Excerpts from some of the interviews done with Nick Cannon (her husband for those of you with more self respect and less knowledge of innane celebrity trivia) and other various tidbits:

“My wife wanted to make sure that when the babies came out, that they came out not only to a Mariah Carey song, but a live performance from Mariah Carey — her Madison Square Garden performance of ‘Fantasy’ — so they came out to a round of applause,”

On Sunday, the singer, 42, Tweeted a picture of her enormous belly, adorned with a pastel blue Easter egg with one red heart and one blue, in dedication to her twins with Nick Cannon

For realz? Really?

The answer to this question may be quite plain. But before I tell some women that I work with that they're full of sh*t I want to maybe

understand them alittle better.  I'm 55 and most of the nurses I work with are in their twenties.  I've had more than one or two of them come

to me to complain that the men they go out with don't commit to relationships. I don't want to to say, "you hooked up with the manwhore residents that hooked up with the nurses on everyother unit in the hospital. What do you expect?" But when I suggest maybe they would find men who commit if they commited themselves

to say, volunteer work or the environment or politics, they look at me

like I have a third eye in my forehead. Maybe I do because I can foresee many meaningless hookups in their future. So tell me my younger

sisters, do all your facebook pictures show you dancing at the clubs but you want a fiancee that's going to make you into something else?

Or is this just letting off steam time and their real lives are too boring to catch on film.

So I'm pretty upset the latest season of The Vampire Diaries has just finished, luckily the new season 4 promo for True Blood has got me all excited again :)

It's Free For All Friday, right?

So, those of you who know me know that I am a classical music whore.  I also play the cello, though not anywhere near as good as these two amazing men.  I just discovered a clip of them on youtube last night and I HAD to share.  Apparently they were on Ellen last week, which makes me immensely happy.  They deserve recognition!

As a side note, I realize the first video is NOT classical music, lol.  But God, they have just redefined the way I look at the cello!  The second video most definitely is classical music, and it's simply beautiful. 

EDITED TO SHOW ANOTHER VIDEO.  I SWEAR THIS VIDEO REMINDS ME OF EDWARD CULLEN IF HE WERE A CELLIST!  HIS SKIN IS EVEN PALE!  ON  A SIDE NOTE, THIS ELGAR CONCERTO IS ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CELLO CONCERTOS EVER COMPOSED.

Today, May 13, Rob turns 25 and I can go back to saying he's only 11 years younger than me, rather than 12. Hey, that one year makes me feel like slightly less of a cougar ;-)

Feel free to spam this post with Rob pics or birthday messages or anything Rob or birthday or Friday the 13th related!!!

Special thanks to Mom and Pop Pattinson for having the sexy times 25 years and 9 months ago. You've made me a very happy girl!

Approved by the flyest of flies: Jennyfly.
And requested by wtvoc and houroflead in wtvoc's latest thread. (Hey that rhymed!)
Just because I haven't made a campfire in a while. 
And because when wtvoc says "Jump" I say "only if you teach me everything you know about jumping first".
*fangirl*
wtvoc, do you not like Nickelback?

GETTING BACK ON TRACK:
Show us your handwriting!
So we can do investigate-y things to it should the opportunity ever arise.
'Cause that shiz is just interesting.

Do you do hearts instead of dots (like Christina Applegates character in View From The Top)?
Do you write in cursive?
ALL CAPS?
Messy, scrawly, scratchy like me?
IT WORKED! Finally.

If anyone can analyze handwriting, have at it. 

I don't want to mar the face of ADF with my sad thoughts, but I'll share inside. People can cry with me/hold my hand/tell me lies inside.

Stupid FanFiction.net is not letting me reply my reviews? When I receive a Review Alert on my email inbox, there's a link provided to get to the review and reply. BUT IS NOT WORKING!

Each time I try to access the link I get this:

"Oops! We cannot find this page on login.fanfiction.net. Most likely you are accessing the site with an outdated link."

Anyone else is having the same issue?

Okay, I couldn't resist the title. It has nothing to do with this campfire though, sorry :0) Just stumbled across a little gem of a fic and wanted to share. ( I promise this is my last campfire for the weekend, I know ya'll have gotta be sick of me making them after 3 in 3 days sorry!) It's only got 500 reviews, which admittedly is alot, but since she co-wrote Paper Cutouts and that has 9,000 reviews, it seems small. It's called Thicker Than Water by twisted coincidence and it's awesome! It's ten chapters long, complete, and a really great, satisfying read! Go check it out! Summary and link:

Thicker than Water by twistedcoincidence:Sisters have a special bond, stronger than friendship, more sacred than a significant other. Bella has always been the perfect big sister, then again, her sister has never possessed something so appealing. AH/AU
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 10 - Words: 37,750 - Reviews: 501 - Updated: 8-22-10 - Published: 2-3-10 - Bella - Complete

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5716765/1/Thicker_than_Water

To make this interactive, what's a little known fic you'd like to rec? It doesn't have to be twi-verse, it can be any fandom! I'm trying to get back into HP and LOTR fanfic right now, actually :0)

I have been looking for this fic everywhere. Bella & Carlisle r together, but Carlisle is Edwards dad. Edward & Bella end up on the side or together...I'm not sure. I never read it but the summary looked good & I never added it to my TBR list?

i'm trying to find good fics of these two

i think they're so cute like a game between a mouse and cat

i'd really apreciate it  thankx!!!

So I just got home after a long day and I go to log onto fanfiction.net.  Fist thing I notice is that when the login screen comes up, there's a red banner across the top proclaiming "FictionPress.com - let the words flow".

Well, I WOULD let the words flow...IF it would let me frickin' LOG IN!

I type in my email address and the same password I've had since I registered and this is the message I get:

Login failed. Invalid Image Verification.

Is it just me?  Or is it fail for everyone?

eta - i <3 bexi21

all right, friends. it's here.

the vampire diaries season 2 finale is tonight. 

let's talk all things

tvd

and then stick around and let's all watch the end of
this spectacular sophomore season together :D

- predictions (damon doesn't die, obvs)
- reactions from last week's madness (wtf elijah)
- OTPs (tyler x caroline duh)
- paul wesley's nipple in that photo
- ships (stay respectful)
- have you read the books? (spoilers please)
- actors and actresses and how much you love them... or how weird they are IRL

Hello everyone I've started this campfire because I have not read a new fic in AGES i need something anything edward and Bella please as many as you like to rec for me thank you! :)
 

ask a ___________

start a comment

list the things you're good at, and we'll ask you questions

oh, and two announcements:

1) free for all friday starts at 9pm EDT today, and goes on through 5pm EDT saturday. 

b) i'm holding another watchalong next week- the 2006 BBC version of jane eyre starring ruth wilson and toby stephens. starts monday at 3pm PDT! PM me if you have questions.

now, get in here and ask a professional something.

hipster marianne dashwood for your time:

After lurking for many months I'm finally starting a campfire. Yay me! No, not so yay me as I need help because my brain has gone on vacation without me.

Just read the new Dickity outtake (loved his nasty mouth as usual) and it got me thinking about another story where our wonderful Dick For Hire was mentioned. Of course now I can't remember the name of it or the author as I seem to have neglected to favorite both.

Bella owns several restaurants. Edward comes to work for her as her sous chef. Somewhere in the middle she hires "Dick" to look into something at her restaurant in New York. He calls her "Sweet Tits". I would like to read this again and rec it to a friend.

HELP PLEASE !        Thanks bunches!