Are you ready campers--
TYRA BANKS WROTE A BOOK.
And I think I can safely say it's the most rediculous thing I've ever heard of in my entire life.
It's the worst book I've read in my entire life and I'm in love with it because of that.
Here's the summary:
No one gets in without being asked. And with her untamable hair, large forehead, and gawky body, Tookie De La Crème isn’t expecting an invitation. Modelland—the exclusive, mysterious place on top of the mountain—never dares to make an appearance in her dreams.
But someone has plans for Tookie. Before she can blink her mismatched eyes, Tookie finds herself in the very place every girl in the world obsesses about. And three unlikely girls have joined her.
Only seven extraordinary young women become Intoxibellas each year. Famous. Worshipped. Magical. What happens to those who don’t make it? Well, no one really speaks of that. Some things are better left unsaid.
Thrown into a world where she doesn’t seem to belong, Tookie glimpses a future that could be hers—if she survives the beastly Catwalk Corridor and terrifying Thigh-High Boot Camp. Or could it? Dark rumors like silken threads swirl around the question of why Tookie and her new friends were selected . . . and the shadows around Modelland hide sinister secrets.
Are you ready? Modelland is waiting for you. . . .
Here are some of my favorite (word intended with heaviest of irony) quotes: (I've put in bold my favorite parts within those quotes.)
"Tookie wheeled around. The hairy hag was Abigail Goode, sideburns in full glory, faint mustache above her upper lip, unshaven leg hair coating her calves, underarm hair swaying in the wind, and a DOWN WITH RAZORS! picket sign still in her hands. The girl she was fighting with tried out a karate move on her, but Abigail expertly evaded her blow."
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There was a don't mess with me girl unless you want to get hurt expression on her face as she strutted back toward Tookie and her family.
--
"You're not participating?" Theophilus asked, gesturing to the crowd.
Tookie opened her mouth but couldn't speak. She was dying to say, Really? Me? Have you lost your mind? But instead a cross between a yelp, a sneeze, and a burp came out.
"Good for you." Theophilus indicated the candidates in the square. "This is a little crazy."
--
Her head glowed as if it contained a lightbulb.
--
"A Scout!" Tookie whispered. She'd never seen one in person before.
The Scout's head began to blink, as if warning people that something amazing was about to happen.
--
We still have time," she murmured. "A miracle will happen for The Myrracle. I just know it."
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