My two roommates really suck, and I need some advice now that it's FFA.
I've been having some problems with Roommate #1, the girl who owns the house, which built up over time until I finally decided to find somewhere else to live. Mainly these problems have to do with how she takes care of her house. To be specific, how she doesn't take care of her house, leaves her messes for me to either live with or clean up myself, and then blames me for the house being dirty even though my room is spotless and smells nice and hers looks like it should be on Hoarders. You can barely walk in there. It stinks.
Sometimes I leave books or knitting around. Or used to until she started getting on my back about it. That's a little different, imo, from leaving dishes piled up for days and food residue on the counter and not cleaning up after pets, like she does.
Someone else (Roommate #2) moved in a couple of months ago and brought two very loud and rambunctious dogs with her. One of Roommate #1's dogs is so nervous all the time because of these new dogs that she pees on the carpet. Roommate #1 won't clean the carpets and doesn't even seem to care, so the common rooms and hallway smell awful.
Today, for the third time, Roommate #2 washed her dogs in the tub she and I share and didn't clean out the tub afterward. Who even does that? Forget being an ass to me since I have to use that tub; who wants to shower in dog dirt herself? People scare me. This girl has never once in two months cleaned the bathroom we share. That's my job, I guess.
Anyway, these are just a couple of examples. I know it's time to move on and I'm not second-guessing the decision. I'm just wondering how I would go about dealing with this if I couldn't just pack up and leave, like if God forbid my future husband acts like this. Most people could probably chalk this up to having a couple instances of bad luck (my last roommates weren't peaches either) and just shrug and move on. But I tend to gnaw on things and worry about how to avoid problems in the future. Just because it doesn't matter much now doesn't mean I'm off the hook on learning how to deal.
So I'm wondering if anyone who's married or living with someone (partner, roommates, etc) could give a little insight. This situation is somewhat unbalanced because the house belongs to Roommate #1, so she seems to feel it's her right to make messes herself but complain if I leave a cup out. There's also nothing keeping us together; she's not very friendly or nice so I'm not even concerned about losing her as a friend. But when it's equal and you have a real interest in working things out, like in a marriage, how do you go about addressing situations like this?
If your partner is awesome and always helps out/tries to find a good balance with you, tell me that, too. I'd like to think not everyone out there is a mediation waiting to happen.