Hello everybody! (Warning: long post ahead.)
I'm an intern for the ambassador for America in my country and I am in some dire need for some enlightenment on American customs. I'm especially talking about the politics of a handshake.
We are going to the United States in a few weeks and although I will be backstage most of the time, I am going to meet my fair share of people. I am in university and am going to be considerably younger than most of the people I meet. I've asked many people around me but they've all given me varying responses. So, I have a few questions on the manners of handshaking.
1. According to American manners, if I meet somebody who is (much) older than I am, is it rude of me to hold out my hand first for a handshake? Or should I wait until they offer their hand first?
Here's the scenario: I am waiting at the table and as they (who are much older) walk in, I stand up and hold my hand out to them, while saying, "Hello it's nice to meet you. My name is so and so. Thank you for meeting us." and other such platitudes. Then i gesture with my hand to the empty seat to indicate that we sit and continue our discussion. Is that rude?
Or, I walk into a room to do some tasks, (i.e. gathering some documents, photocopying etc) and I meet somebody (again, older): is it okay for me to hold my hand out and greet them? Or do I keep my hands to myself and introduce myself, waiting for them to offer their hand first?
As I'm sure it is equally important in America, in my country, there is an extremely strong sense of age hierachy. Respect and honorifics for older people is of absolute paramount importance. In my country, I would never hold out my hand first to an older person, no matter how diplomatic or kind the gesture. I would wait for them to offer first. I really really do not want to come off as rude and this my first time doing anything anywhere near this important.
I would really appreciate your help! Sometimes, it's these little things like a handshake that really matter. I would also greatly appreciate some other traditional American customs that are an absolute must when conducting business or boardroom politics etc.
Thank you so much!