GOOD MORNING, AND HAPPY MAY!!!

In honor of the start of May, this edition of the Kitchen will be open for any and all fandom needs!  Blog troubles, contests, graphics problems, campfire ideas, and, of course, WRITING!!

The rules will be inside.  Come on in and join the fun!!

Part of the fun of writing fan fiction is to play with the characters everyone grew to love or hate or giggle at in the Twilight Saga.  Part of the fun is exploring other avenues for these characters, or tinkering with their storylines.

What we're looking for today are fics that are not about vampires and werewolves but where the characterizations are still very near the canon character.  Not necessarily in a "rewrite a human Twilight" scenario (though this is okay, too!), just a story where Edward and Bella are both and will always both be human.

...With as many canon characteristics as possible.

Edward is still devoted to Bella, might fall in love with her suddenly. Bella can still be blown away by his gorgeous self.  She might even be dazzled by him.

He plays the piano, maybe. She was perhaps born middle-aged, as her mother said.

They don't have to be teenagers, but they should be very canon, even so.

So...do you know any stories like this?

Close to canon, but All Human?

Share your recs within!

Remember the Rules of the Campfire:

1. Keep it simple.  Title. Author. Summary. Link.

2.  No discussions. If a camper is rec'ing a fic, we're presuming it's a good one.

Thank you for sharing your favorite Close to Canon, but All Human fics around the fire!

I am looking for some very great fics. I just finished MOTU, EP, OFFICE, HA, WA and HBD. And these fics are fantastic. But now I cant find anything as good as  these fics. Do you know any with sexy, bad Edward? I really need something good.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6229263/21/Unplanned_Perfection

Hey, does anyone know where this story went: The Caged Bird - KristenNicole? And does anyone have it? I REALLY love this story!!!

Fic Rec: 

Living Royal by: D-Twilighter

Summary: Bella Swan is a typical college girl who's trying to make the best of her college experience. Only one problem gets in her way, Prince Edward happens to attend the same University...Full Summary Inside - Inspired by the British Royal Wedding!E/B

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6953389/1/bLiving_b_bRoyal_b

ranger edit: oi, follow the rules. add a rec and a link if you're going to ask for something. you'll get deleted if you don't do it before i decide to go to bed.

there will be a freecycle campfire on wednesday and hey why don't you feed a tree or three today?

freecycling is a simple hippie way to get new crap and get rid of your old crap.

the rules are simple:

-you start a comment in my campfire listing what you're willing to get rid of, scott-free

-you pay the shipping, so tell us if you can't ship outside of your country. and be willing to pay for shipping, man.

-don't post your emails or addresses on ADF. take care of that junk in private.

-you MUST give first dibs. can't pick and choose who gets your stuff.

-call dibs on whatever you want, but dude. don't be a freecycle hog. give others a chance.

-you can offer to pay for shipping if you're getting stuff, which i encourage you to do. especially in these times of economic crisis~

anyway, that's it. there should be no money or tradesies for stuff here. just flat out giving the stuff you don't really want to throw away but hate seeing in a pile in your closet to a good home.

i've seen people give makeup (that's my m.o.), ipods, coach purses, vintage clothing, shoes, care packages from their country, jewelry, books, dvds, CDs. 

if you're not getting it, click on the freecycle tab to see the last one.

so, peruse your stuff and see what you need to get outta your house. i'll see you guys on wednesday.

~this freecycle is brought to you by my hippie heart and owlsarebirdstoo's express request~

and here, gendry for your time. now, why don't you watch game of thrones again?

I'm looking for kind of stories for my friend, where Edward leaves Bella pregnant, but she's changed by some vampire after giving a birth to their child. Any stories like this? Only E/B please...

Recommendation:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6453369/1/Fridays_at_Noon

So The Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn Part 1 is only nominated for two categories.

MOVIE OF THE YEAR (voting stays live throughout the “2012 Movie Awards” ceremony)

Bridesmaids

Director: Paul Feig, Producers: Judd Apatow, Barry Mendel, Clayton Townsend (Universal Pictures)

The Hunger Games
Director: Gary Ross, Producers: Nina Jacobson, Jon Kilik (Lionsgate)

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
Director: David Yates, Producers: David Heyman, David Barron, J.K. Rowling (Warner Bros. Pictures)

The Help
Director: Tate Taylor, Producers: Chris Columbus, Michael Barnathan, Brunson Green (DreamWorks)

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1
Director: Bill Condon, Producers: Karen Rosenfelt, Wyck Godfrey, Stephenie Meyer
(Summit Entertainment)

BEST FEMALE PERFORMANCE
Emma Stone – Crazy, Stupid, Love. (Warner Bros. Pictures)
Emma Watson – Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (Warner Bros. Pictures)
Jennifer Lawrence – The Hunger Games (Lionsgate)
Kristen Wiig – Bridesmaids (Universal Pictures)
Rooney Mara – The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (Sony Pictures)

BEST MALE PERFORMANCE

Channing Tatum – The Vow (Sony Pictures)
Daniel Radcliffe – Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (Warner Bros. Pictures)
Joseph Gordon-Levitt – 50/50 (Summit Entertainment)
Josh Hutcherson – The Hunger Games (Lionsgate)
Ryan Gosling – Drive (FilmDistrict)

BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMANCE**

Elle Fanning – Super 8 (Paramount Pictures)
Melissa McCarthy – Bridesmaids (Universal Pictures)
Liam Hemsworth – The Hunger Games (Lionsgate)
Rooney Mara – The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (Sony Pictures)
Shailene Woodley – The Descendants (Fox Searchlight)

BEST COMEDIC PERFORMANCE

Jonah Hill – 21 Jump Street (Sony Pictures)
Kristen Wiig – Bridesmaids (Universal Pictures)
Melissa McCarthy – Bridesmaids (Universal Pictures)
Oliver Cooper – Project X (Warner Bros. Pictures)
Zach Galifianakis – The Hangover Part II (Warner Bros. Pictures)

BEST CAST*

21 Jump Street (Sony Pictures) – Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, Ice Cube, Dave Franco, Ellie Kemper, Brie Larson
Bridesmaids (Universal Pictures) – Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Rose Byrne, Melissa McCarthy, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Ellie Kemper
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (Warner Bros. Pictures) – Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Tom Felton
The Help (DreamWorks) – Emma Stone, Viola Davis, Octavia Spencer, Bryce Dallas Howard, Jessica Chastain
The Hunger Games (Lionsgate) – Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth, Elizabeth Banks, Woody Harrelson, Lenny Kravitz

BEST ON-SCREEN TRANSFORMATION*

Collin Farrell – Horrible Bosses (Warner Bros. Pictures)
Elizabeth Banks – The Hunger Games (Lionsgate)
Johnny Depp – 21 Jump Street (Sony Pictures)
Michelle Williams – My Week with Marilyn (The Weinstein Company)
Rooney Mara – The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (Sony Pictures)

BEST FIGHT

Channing Tatum & Jonah Hill vs. Kid Gang – 21 Jump Street (Sony Pictures)
Daniel Radcliffe vs. Ralph Fiennes – Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
(Warner Bros. Pictures)
Jennifer Lawrence & Josh Hutcherson vs. Alexander Ludwig – The Hunger Games (Lionsgate)
Tom Cruise vs. Michael Nyqvist – Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol (Paramount Pictures)
Tom Hardy vs. Joel Edgerton – Warrior (Lionsgate)

BEST KISS

Channing Tatum & Rachel McAdams – The Vow (Sony Pictures)
Jennifer Lawrence & Josh Hutcherson – The Hunger Games (Lionsgate)
Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart – The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1
(Summit Entertainment)
Rupert Grint & Emma Watson – Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (Warner Bros. Pictures)
Ryan Gosling & Emma Stone – Crazy, Stupid, Love. (Warner Bros. Pictures)

BEST GUT-WRENCHING PERFORMANCE*

21 Jump Street (Sony Pictures) – Jonah Hill & Rob Riggle
Schmidt shoots Coach Walters in the d#@k

Bridesmaids (Universal Pictures) – Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Rose Byrne, Melissa McCarthy, Wendi McLendon-Covey and Ellie Kemper
Food poisoning turns the girls’ dress fitting into a disaster

Drive (FilmDistrict) – Ryan Gosling
Elevator beat-down

The Help (DreamWorks) – Bryce Dallas Howard
Minny gives Hilly a pie she won’t forget

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol (Paramount Pictures) – Tom Cruise
Ethan Hunt scales to new heights

BEST ON-SCREEN DIRTBAG*

Bryce Dallas Howard – The Help (DreamWorks)
Collin Farrell – Horrible Bosses (Warner Bros. Pictures)
Jennifer Aniston – Horrible Bosses (Warner Bros. Pictures)
Jon Hamm – Bridesmaids (Universal Pictures)
Oliver Cooper – Project X (Warner Bros. Pictures)

BEST MUSIC*

“The Devil is in the Details,” Chemical Brothers – Hanna (Focus Features)
Interrogation scene

“Impossible,” Figurine – Like Crazy (Paramount Vantage)
Anna texts Jacob from across the pond

“Party Rock Anthem,” LMFAO – 21 Jump Street (Sony Pictures)
House dance party

“Pursuit of Happiness,” Kid Cudi (Steve Aoki Remix) – Project X (Warner Bros. Pictures)
The party erupts into chaos

“A Real Hero,” College w/Electric Youth – Drive (FilmDistrict)
The Driver takes Irene and her son for a fun ride

So what are your thoughts on this? Is Twilight losing steam to Hunger Games? Did they only nominate R/K in the Best Kiss category because damn it! Kiss already! Did MTV get tired of Twilight winning everything?
Lettuce Discuss!

Slash Rec:

Gone Fishing by Milly3c

What does a straight camera man do in a gay porn business? Fall in love of course! Set in the world of Corbin Fisher, Edward and Jasper are in for a ride. Over 18's ONLY!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 11 - Words: 65,061 - Reviews: 459 - Updated: 4-28-12 - Published: 1-8-12 - Edward & Jasper

Ah, the scourge of the anonymous review. We've all been there. Everything is going great, people really seem to like your story, and then one nasty person decides to hide their insults behind a linkless screenname. These comments have the ability to infuriate, but they also have the ability to cause doubt and anxiousness.

Did this guy have a point? Does my writing really read as though I'm thirteen? What if everyone else is just feeding my delusions? Our emotions are heightened by the fact that we can't defend ourselves. We are left to wallow away the unanswerable insults, forced to let go of the unresolved.

Well, I'm tired of it!

This campfire is for anyone who has ever gotten an anonymous review you just HAD to respond to but couldn't. If someone made you angry, bashed your work, your person, or just didn't know what the hell they were talking about, here's your chance to get it off your chest. On the flip side, if there's a wonderful review you were never able to thank someone for, you can do so now, even if they'll likely never see it. Here's how it works:

• Post a copy of the anonymous review you would like to reply to.
• Write your long awaited reply just as you would have written it to the reviewer in question.
• Be POLITE! It's fine to get angry and vent your frustration, but this campfire was not created to sling insults.
• Read other authors' experiences and have fun commiserating!

HELLO CAMPERS!!!

Happy Monday to you all- or not, depending on how you view Monday's lol

Anywho, you know what time it is

Come on inside and give us a peek

at the awesome things you've been working on

I love seeing you participate

I love seeing your writing

I just love you in general :)

Cool bit of Hal news

I just got my first born signed up for kindergarten and omg

FREAKING OUT!!!

Even if you're not coming in to sneak peek

just peek

maybe go ahead and share some kind words about how I'll be okay

babies gotta grow up and be big kids eventually, right?!

'cause I'm so not ready!!

pop in and share or just pop in to chat. I love it, either way!

~Don't forget to include the link for your fic~

Why do Urban Fantasy books have the cheesiest cover art?  I have my goodreads account synced to my facebook, and I have to admit that I get a little embarrassed reviewing some of the books I read bc shortly after a half nekkid man shows up on facebook timeline.

Isn't the picture on the front of the book suppose to lure a reader?  Entice us?  For me, it does the exact opposite.  The only reason I read these books is because my friends read them and they come highly recommended.

Examples....

I'm really enjoying this story, but the cover?  Really?

Even the Karen Moning's awesome Fever Series has cheesy cover art.

So campers have you ready any books lately that have horrid cover art, but a fantastic story?  If so, share them with me (us) bc chances are I have completely glossed over them.

Remember these?  It's been a little while!

Spring has finally sprung way up north here, and this means one very important thing: 

CAMPING TIME IS NEAR.  

I recently stumbled upon something that made me laugh.  Hard.  Have a gander....

GLAMPING:

All the glamour of luxury accommodation with the romance of camping under the stars

You can read more about glamping here.

What do you guys think of this?!  Are you the camping type?  Would you rather go glamping?  Do you have any crazy camping stories to share that forever ruined the experience for you/made it that much more enjoyable?

 Share your camping tales, woes, favourite camping recipes/games/activities, etc...you get the idea.  

Share, bond, rejoice. 

And yet another campfire. I know. I know. I'm probably ging to hell for this since I'm supposed to be doing my homework right now (5 more pages to write and edits to make before 1), but I couldn't help myself.

Three things struck me about this article:

1. This quote by James:

"I'm staggered by this," James said in an interview with The Associated Press. "I never set out to do this."

What a crock - the woman has balls that's for sure!

2. This comment from under the article - very telling if it's true:

" My Mom attended but she was paid $25 to do so. I'm sure she wasn't the only paid to attend."

and finally...

3. This poster cracked me up:

a user by the name of Johnny Fap wrote "I fap while reading these" and the reply was "I read while fapping these."

It wouldn't let me copy the avi picture, but it's a dude with his "O" face on - priceless!

Here's the link to the article - the comments are not very flattering.

http://news.yahoo.com/hundreds-flock-meet-50-shades-grey-author-231140913.html

Here's my rec:

One of my fave Chefward/Chefella stories:

An Acquired Taste by Magnolia822

Arrogant British celebrity chef Edward Cullen made an impression on NYC caterer Bella Swan long before either one of them became a success. Now, armed with her cat and a devious practical joke, Bella's plan may turn up the heat for both of them. ExB OOC
Twilight - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 95,953 - Reviews: 4926 - Updated: 10-6-11 - Published: 5-17-11 - - Bella/Edward - Complete

I've been searching for this fic on and off for months, but have yet to figure out what it is.  It was one of the first AH fics I read, so it is probably from 2008-2009.

Pregnant Bella is in a car wreck.  Husband Edward is working in the E.R. when she is brought in.  Baby is delivered and Bella is in a coma for almost a year.  Edward records everything on video so she'll have "memories" of all of baby-time she missed.  Bella wakes up and comes home, but has problems (I remember seizures, for one).  

Ring any bells?

For your time, a recommendation:

Two of a Kind » by Nilla79 
Bella, 23, and Edward, 25, meet at a social event. As far as appearances go, they couldn't be more different, but they are instantly drawn to each other. Could they really be soul mates? And will the people around them accept their relationship?
Twilight - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 32 - Words: 141,217 - Reviews: 2283 - Updated: 4-28-12 - Published: 10-13-11 - - Bella/Edward

It's been a while since I've gotten to post pics of Rob. I know he has a new photoshoot coming out soon, so I'll post these to appease myself until then. They're from an old shoot, but the entire batch of outtakes was released so maybe you'll see some new ones here to add to your library. Or am I the only one who does that....

Feel free to spam this CF with your own favorite pics of the future Mr.Capricorn75!!!

Oh, and in case you didn't know, smoking is bad for your health. Just because Rob does it, that doesn't mean that you all should go out and copy him. JANDCO THIS MEANS YOU!

MORE INSIDE....FOLLOW ME!!!!

A pair of weeks before LJ Summers made a CF about it, and now there´s some new youtube video of Hunger Games and I fin it hilarious.

In my never ending quest to remove facial hair I found this product--

Hair removal Dermology .,, 

Has anyone used it or know of a good wax or cream? I have used Nair face but it is not very consistent results and I have done the ultimate bad choice and shaved around my chin.  Such a bad idea.  

Suggestions? Please!!  

What would you be willing to give up for love?  Please come inside to see what I mean!

(And who can I bribe to get an Outlander or Jamie Fraser tag??)

I've been in the mood to buy some new underthings.....bras, boyshorts, camis. What brands do you like? What are some combos do you think look good? And most importantly what looks good but feels terrible? Pics are worth a thousand words.  These are some of the things I like....And I just bought my first VictoriaSecret bra which I love....

So, I couldn't afford the tickets and everything else, so I opted not to go to my college graduation.  Then, I found out a person I know that lives around the corner from me went and I'm beyond jealous and sad. 

Therefore, I am praying that I can make it to the next one in October for my second degree.

Is there anything you guys decided not to do and then wished you had??

Jandco EDIT: AND WE CAN HAVE A GRADUATION FOR YOU RIGHT NOW.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

stop in and wish twicalikat congrats. she deserves it.

Edit:

Thanks everyone  :)  I feel the love on here and I'm so glad I have you guys to turn to :)

I have finished Karen Moning's Fever Series and I feel like a lost soul.

I am missing Jericho Barrons.

This author has another series that does not seem to be as good, but I think it can offer me three things:

The Supernatural draw of Edward

The Highland swoonworthiness of Jamie Frasier

The make me feel like I got pregnant with just one look of Jericho Barrons

Before I dive in, I need to know a few things.

Do these Highlander books need to be read in order? It doesn't seem like it.

If this is the case, which ones do I skip?

I might just change my mind and just read The Outlander again because I kinda in the mood for the verra verra charming Jamie anyway.

Fill this campfire with other Highland books that you enjoyed or would like to discuss.

Edit: I forgot tags!

Author Rec:

http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/48206.Karen_Marie_Moning