I don't have much sanity left, and I would like to keep what few bits of sanity I have. Would you like to help? Help me find these two pieces of Fan Fiction please :) Pretty please with Rob-porn on top?

I clearly remember the summary saying:

"What happens when," and then something about the plot. And then, "Five becomes six." Or something like that.

Bella is the new girl, and shes bad-ass and all that, and she gets in with Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Edward who are all bad-ass too. None of them are virgins, I think.

Anyway, Jacob is a nerd. And Bella starts hanging around with him and pretending to like him, trying to get him to lose his virginity to her. I don't know whether it is a bet or not.

Then Edward gets all jelous, and Bella tells him its him she wants and not to get jelous. So inbetween playing with Jacob's mind, she is getting off with Edward.

Something like that.

It's driving me mad, and has been all week.

Please help me :)

I've pimped this before, and I'll pimp it again, and again, and again:

Where Poppies Grow  by La Serenade is the best period drama. Ever. 

I've read SO many fics where Bella is being rescued, or weak, etc. In this one, Bella is a British spy in Nazi occupied France during World War II. Her mission, though, is quite different from most; she's pretending to be the fiancee of a man in the French government. There, she meets Edward, a pianist, and the drama begins...

I haven't read many period dramas before. Anyone got another one they want to rec?

I'm always looking for some good AU. I like the real angsty stuff -- gimme character-driven, gimme fucked-up relationships, gimme DARKWARD.  

In a fandom where 2/3 of the fanfic is all-human, the AU pickings can be pretty slim, lemme tell ya.

So here's a find, peoples.  hmonster4, author of Deconstructing Dracula, just started posting her first AU:

I Know You

Check it out:  http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5459412/1/I_Know_You

OMG are you reading this yet??

If YES...... did you read the update?!?!  Soooo good!

If NO.... DROP WHAT YOU ARE DOING RIGHT NOW AND READ THIS FIC.... IT IS FUCKAWESOME!

that is all.

After being without home internet for TWO FREAKING MONTHS, and having very limited web access at work (those bitches finally caught on to me and blocked ADF, along with every other Twi/celeb/forum site known to man), I'm happy to say that Mr. Cable Guy just left my house. Rejoice, my fellow campers, for your prodigal daughter has returned. I shall never leave you again.

As God is my witness, I will never be RobPorn-less again.

Feel free to gift me with Rob pics here at my self-produced welcome home party.

P.S. Many thanks to the lovely DeeLovely for helping a sista out in her time of desperation and need. You kept me hanging in there, Dee. You deserve to have Jenny write you a story or something ;-)

For one moment, can we take the bullshit rumours about Robsten out of the equation and focus on the main topic Rob talks about when in interviews, either in magazines were said magazine may have a tendancy to twist his words to make the interview more appealing, or in a televised interview where it comes straight from the horses mouth?

Two words: Relationships. Love.

Example A: "Whenever I like a girl, I always lose them to someone else."
Example B: "Girls don't like me much."
Example C: "I'm not very lucky when it comes to love."

I have a couple of things to say to that...

To this my friend said: "Oh my God. Isn't that girl lucky? She got to hug him."

Megan Fox is the one girl I would turn lesbian for. So if Robert Pattinson of all the male actors in the world got to tap that, he should be happy.

Now, we have all heard the rumours going around about these two. Even if they aren't true, they want people to believe it is true so they can get more publicity. Saying no one likes you is not a good way to make people believe you are dating her, Rob.

...

If he is oblivious to the long line of females lusting over him, than he must be from another planet. Seriously.

Either that or hes just modest.

Though...

I have always had the feeling Rob may be gay.

What do you think?

Lettuce discuss :)

so me and the person who judged the contest were OKAY, FINE, IT WAS EMIBELLA, GOSH going over the playlists, and right before she told me what she picked, she was like I HAVE THREE AND IT'S HARD TO CHOOSE.  so i wrote down, like i said, the top 3, russian red being number one.

well dude.  we picked the exact same three lists, and we figured that had meaning.

so... i have ridiculous BK team jacob/team edward gift cards in the amount of fi' dollah for the 2 runners-up of the playlist contest...

say congrats to:

americnxidiot

and

stretchnumberssssss

wooooooooo!

americnxidiot's "i did not resurface"

stretchnumbers' list

congrats, people.  now gimme yer addresses.

now come on this thread and discuss your fave christmas songs, congratulate the weiners, bitch about how you didn't win, and future contests you'd like to see.

hello ADF lovers. can you please help me?

what is your most favorite fanfiction that has a complete chapter?

pls. help me. *drops to knees*

TANX!!

So apparently the authors page was hacked and the story was deleted and she did not have a backup. That story was so freaking good, it sucks that it will be lost forever. She was going to write a sequel too, but doesnt want to now that the original is gone. Someone out there, please tell me you saved a copy of this story on your computer and will come forward to give it to the author, I really wanted to read it! :(

So in Russian Red's winning (BTW your playlist was AH-MAZING.)

Heart's a mess= LOVE

And because the postbox is being a bitch and won't let me make a comment, I thought it would be nice how we could all share our playlists :)

And again, Russian Red LOVE THE PLAYLIST. Congrats.

http://www.playlist.com/playlist/18337070859

I'm sorry, I can't get the little player thing to work. And I thought we had to have less than 10 songs... my bad.

Bear in mind I don't have an abundance of angsty songs. This was a stretch for me.

From Rotten Tomatoes http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/twilight_saga_eclipse/news/1857422/5_facts_about_the_twilight_saga_eclipse

Fact #1: It's Darker       

The brand new poster for Eclipse (above) hints at a darker tone with its brooding storm clouds. With 30 Days of Night director David Slade at the helm, it's unsurprising. "Every movie is different because we work with a different director on each one, which I love,"  Taylor Lautner tells RT. "David Slade is perfect for the third film because it's darker. Eclipse was my favourite book."

Ashley Greene, who plays vampire Alice, tells RT that Slade isn't just a prince of darkness. "David is actually hysterical," she laughs, "He has such a dry sense of humour that sometimes you don't know if he's kidding or not. Eclipse will be amazing because he has made it far edgier and more dramatic. It's going to look very cool."

Fact #2: There Will Be Less “Love Story” and More “War”

“Eclipse isn’t as intimate as Twilight or New Moon,” Robert Pattinson explains to us. “We’re at war, so I get to interact with more characters, not just Kristen. You’ll also find out more about the other members of the Cullen family. It just feels bigger.” But — fear not, Twihards — that isn’t to say the love story is cast aside altogether. “New Moon set up a love triangle with Bella, Edward and Jacob,” says Lautner. “So we explore that further in Eclipse. It’s a tough situation for all of them because Bella is torn between two guys, Jacob can’t get the girl that he loves and then there’s Edward, with all of his issues.”

Fact #3: The Werewolves Will Crank Up the Sex Appeal

“We all know the appeal of the vampire family,” says Nikki Reed, who plays vampire Rosalie. “But the werewolf boys are on a whole different level. They interact with a youthful, playful, comfortable warmth. It’s very sexy.”

As for Pattinson, he admits that his personal jealousy about Taylor Lautner’s newly-ripped physique actually comes in handy for the role. “In Eclipse, Taylor and I have lots of scenes together where we have to be jealous and petty with each other,” he says. “So it helps that I actually do feel inadequate when I see his body, especially because he’s younger than me. He fulfills every criteria of what teenage girls want, physically, in a guy. I felt like a had to prove myself against him.”

Fact #4: There's More Action

"Filming Eclipse actually changed my life," says Nikki Reed of the arduous training regime the cast had to endure. "I have never been so fit -- this is the first time in my life I have actually had a bicep. It's bizarre to compare how we look now to how we all looked in the first movie. The entire cast turned up on set for Eclipse looking super-buff."

New cast member Bryce Dallas Howard tried to play a prank on the crew during one stunt, but she didn't count on Pattinson's awkwardness. "We had a fight scene where Bryce had to grab my hair," he laughs. "So she took a clump of hair from my stunt double's wig and was going to pretend she had pulled it from my head. She told me to scream and storm off set, but it was so embarrassing. She had this huge clump of hair in her hand, and I was like 'oww,' really unconvincingly."

While the rest of the cast were having fun with stunts, spare a thought for poor Taylor Lautner. "Eclipse is a lot more physical for my character," he explains, "but any time I have any kind of action, I'm a wolf, so it's all done with CGI. It's a bummer."

Fact #5: The Ending Will Be Nicely Set Up For a Fourth - And Perhaps Fifth - Film

There are four books in The Twilight Saga: Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. But Ashley Greene gave RT the strongest indication yet that there might be five films. "We have finished filming Eclipse and one would assume that, if New Moon does as well as Twilight, then we'll start filming Breaking Dawn next year," she says.

"The only thing is, Breaking Dawn is a very large book so it would be a really long movie. We're thinking they might decide to split it into two parts, like they did with Harry Potter. Either way, we need to get on with shooting them because, unlike Harry Potter, vampires don't age. So we all need to look the same!"

Contains NSFW (or life really) links. NSFW pictures will be put in comments

Etsy is a place where creative folks sell their stuff. There's some wonderful things there, seriously.

The contents of this post isn't one of them.  It appears that you can now purchase and bath yourself with peen soap molded after Edward, Carlisle and Emmett (wtf no Jasper?!) and Bella's vag.

I found this almost at the same time posted on a lj comm and trolling Etsy in search of Twilight Xmas cards to send to people.

P.S.

I just popped my posting cherry, what a way to do it too!

PPS

The history major in me is raging, Edward and Carlisle peens wouldn't be cut... Emmett's maybe because the practice started to become popular during the time of his human birth.

I love Peter Facinelli this was so funny

time to announce the winner of the first official ADF playlist contest!!!!111!!!!1

so many of them were amazing, seriously.  i did not pick the winner, but i listened to the lists and i wrote down the one that i liked the best.

it just so happened that's the one that was chosen by the super secret if you know anything about the rangers you know who it is ranger.

without further ado... congratulations to

Search Engine Monitoring

you can hear her NON EMBEDDABLE OMG playlist here:

It's all in your mind

and russian red, darling- you have to send me your address.  i'm not kidding when i say you have a twi-gift basket worth over 75 cash bucks!

come in and congratulate RR, or just post a song you wish was on the NM soundtrack or about how i just dL'ed a remix album of lady gaga on purpose, idk idk

I updated the last chapter of my fanfiction Hell and I'm just so proud of myself, I feel like sharing it with everyone! It's the first time in my life that I actually complete something I started writing! So YAY me! ^^

What about you writers out there? What are you like? Do you update really really fast to get it all out there? Do you take your time? Do you get bored easily with your own stories? Tell me all! ^^

Incentive: Robert Pattinson in a leather jacket! ^^

So, I was inspired by the lovely wolvesnvamps post.

I wonder what Meyer thinks of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. Particularly, of this:

So, I hate it when people think actors should be good role models. The Twilight actors are young people, they have their own lives. Poor kids didn't realize how big of phenomenon Twilight would be when they signed on. So I aint hating.

But still, I know when I was 15 year old hoodlum, I would have gotten kick out of my favorite actors partying it up like me. And Robert Pattinson sure as hell makes cigarettes look tasty.

Thoughts?

Be forewarned, Robert Pattinson; you're about to receive an invitation that it would be best to think twice (and maybe thrice) about before accepting.

“She’s planning on having a huge blood and guts vampire party on New Year’s Eve at her house...Amy thinks Robert is cool and loves the sexuality around vampires.”

GET AWAY FROM HIM YOU CRACKHEAD.

LET'S MAKE THIS FUN-TELL ME WHAT CELEBRITIES YOU WOULD INVITE TO YOUR DINNER PARTY & WHAT QUESTIONS YOU WOULD ASK THEM.

I have just spent the past three hours getting a mind-numbing, not to mention ass-numbing from sitting down to long, lecture on how God is real. Tip for the day? Never tell a Christian you don't believe in God.

Anyway, I am feeling on the border of crazy here.

Any Darkward or Mentalward fictions?

Please :)

My friend just sent this to me and I had to share. To make this interactive, let's discuss our FIRST KISSES! Who was he/she? Was it good? Bad? lifechanging?