Oh Hai Campers!
I've been gone all day and upon my return to my home on the interwebz, a few things caught my attention.
I want to be the FIRST to welcome to the forest, our NEW RANGER...
EDWARD CULLEN!!
am I the only one who saw him lurking among the bushes? shame on you, campers...
He deserves a proper hello.
YO EDWARD! I SENT YOU A PM AND I EXPECT A RESPONSE!!
nExt on the agenda...
I need to bring attention to a certain issue I am having with a certain... man
Campers, I am being stalked.
He's clever though, this one. He's sneaky. I suppose, due to my marital status, he considers this to be discretion.
But I call is SUBLIMINAL SEDUCTION.
Yes, he wants me. the writing is on the wall.
Who, you ask?
none other than... ROBERT PATTINSON
I have proof...
So there's no denying that over the course of the past few months, Dear Robert and I have had a few encounters. (you all know what i'm talking about)
Now he is using the media to demonstrate his affection...no, his OBSESSION with me.
Exhibit a:
he's looking right at me~~
Exhibit b:
he's looking at the lady's boobies.
I have boobies.
He's practically looking at MY boobies! (it's a conspiracy..and mine are better)
Exhibit c:
...and this is just so painfully obvious..Really Robert, you can be more craetive than this...
She's holding a camera.
I AM A PHOTOGRAPHER.
gah it's so obvious
HE WANTS ME. He's calling me out.
Well I've got your number, Pattinson.
ALSO NOTE....the lady had a back roll. jandco and i are totally down with that...it's not bad. but it points to ONE THING....
Rob don't want no skinny bitch
he wants a WOMAN
don't you see?
not just ANY woman
a GROWN ASS WOMAN
So my message to ROBERT IS THIS:
Bring it, Pretty Boy.
No need for the weak attempts at getting my attention.
YOU HAVE IT....I'M A SURE THING....COME GET IT!!
***
thsnk you, and good night