Hi there, I have an ongoing debate with my betas about the above and want to share it. I am Italian and I confess I am very surprised to learn (from the stories I read) that blow jobs, hand jobs, finger stimulation and cunnilingus do not count as having sex. Only ‘penis in vagina’ qualifies. I remember that in my country we laughed ourselves silly when Bill Clinton maintained that a bj was not sex. I believe it is the favorite activity of our Prime Minister and he surely thinks he is having sex. If and when we manage to kick him out it will not be for that.
I am convinced that when sexual organs are involved (and more so if orgasms ensue), then the people enjoying those activities are having sex. And, of course, you are being unfaithful to your spouse if you engage in any of the above with somebody else.
But evidently in America things are evaluated differently.
I wonder why it is so. Mine is a (heavily lapsed) Catholic country, so in the past those activities counted as a mortal sin, one that you would have to confess and promise not to repeat, before taking Communion. (Even masturbation was a mortal sin). For the Pope they still are (poor man, he is obsessed), but nobody pays a lot of attention … In any case, since all was sinful, once you were happily sinning there were no limits and you could go all the way as you liked. The myth of female virginity has also gone down the drain (good), so the reason for not having full intercourse could only be to avoid pregnancies, but condoms and the pill entered the game, and now I would say it is only a matter of preference (or of progression in a new relationship).
You can have sex in any way it pleases you and that is that. No distinctions.
Now, I would be interested in hearing from other European campers if this is just an Italian attitude, or it is shared by other Euro-people.
As a personal note I add that before I got together with my (one and only) man I thought that straight intercourse was much less embarrassing than hand and mouth intimacies (What in the US is called third base, I think) … so in fact those were subsequent additions … Go figure, before my time they were even considered possible only with a mistress … too disrespectful for a wife … but that had ended already with WWII ...
Of course the sometimes slow progression of Edward and Bella lovemaking in some AU stories is a completely different matter. The vamp boy has to learn control (swoon). However, it sounds ludicrous to me when they refrain from going all the way only due to the fact that they want to save ‘something’ for the honeymoon. Please dears, go ahead, the only thing you are piling up is frustration …