JOKE POST!!!

Holiday jokes, Twilight Jokes, random jokes... submit 'em all!

I'll start:

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?

Santa stopped at 3 ho's!

I just got back from a screening of Sherlock Holmes! It was good, definitely worth a watch. If nothing else for two hours of Robert Downey, Jr. hotness (including a particularly delightful, shirtless bare-knuckle boxing scene). 

As a matter of fact, RDJ covered my favorite Christmas song, and I just adore his version. I also think it reflects the mood a lot of us are in right now.

Post your favorite holiday song, appreciate RDJ fineness, or just participate in a giant ADF group hug.

**HUGS**

So I just wanted to share my excitment with everyone this Christmas...I recieved the best Christmas present ever this year!  I was really upset the other day and I had it set in my head that Christmas was ruined and i just wanted it to be over! That all changed tonight when my brother and sister-in-law got me RAY BANS!! I wanted them so bad and the best brother and sis-in-law ever MADE MY CHRISTMAS!!!

Let me know something that made you happy this Christmas...

I just wanted to send my love and appreciation out to all of the authors that are still updating during the holidays because these updates are the only things keeping me sane during the madness!!! 

HEY! Merry Christmas!

We Rangers are getting lots of PM's from people who are alone this Christmas. We want to let you know that you are not alone. We care and we know that your fellow campers care. We already said that all Holiday posts were allowed without approval through Christmas.

We are expanding that.

We are turning the forest over to our campers. Post whatever you want-write poetry-write one shots-post pics-rage-cry-gush-rant-ask questions-show us your family-show us your ex's-whatever you want. We want you to know that you are not alone. And this is your forum/canvas/blank white page. So take advantage of it. And for those of you who will ask--NO-it doesn't have to be Twilight related.

... or Happy Christmas in Irish.

Have a wonderful holiday, everyone, whether you celebrate the day or not.

Now, if I woke up to this in the morning, I would be a very happy camper...

My girls and I wish you....

Since Music Played A Large Roll In Twilight
And Because It's The Holiday Season;
What's Your Favourite Christmas/Holiday Song?
And Link It - If You Can!

Mine Is Carol Of the Bells.
This Randition Is By The Celtic Women - It's Beautiful!

[Bells - Bella - Just Noticed That Connection xD]

So Let's Hear Yours!!!!
I Truely Want to Know.

EDIT: My Mom Wanted Me To Tell Ya'll That Hers  Is Silver Bells. -.-

About a week ago, I started a campfire moaning about my inability to write the next chapter of my fic.  Today, as I was scrolling through bookmarks, I found this link I'd saved a long time ago.  It gives some excellent, practical suggestions for dealing with writer's block.

http://community.livejournal.com/10_ers/196076.html

So many people here responded to my previous post with very helpful advice.  I thought I'd mention this article as a "thank you."  I hope my fellow fic writers find it useful.  Happy Holidays!

I JUST WANT TO SAY MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO EVERYONE HERE AT THE FOREST!!!

I GOT MY GIFT A LITTLE EARLY AND MY HUBS GOT ME A DROID ERIS...ITS THE NEW PHONE FROM VERIZON...I WAS AMAZED BY THIS THING WHEN I SAW IT SO HE SURPRISED ME...JUST FOUND OUT LAST NIGHT THAT I CAN GO ON FF.NET..................YAYAYAYAYA!! SO I READ A FAN FIC IN THE COZINESS OF MY BED!!!

SO WHAT DOES EVERYONE ELSE WANT AND HOPES THAT SANTA BRINGS???!

http://www.noradsanta.org/en/index.html  You can track santa as he flies around the world :) And click on the little video camera things and there's videos.

My fangirl/stalker brain is delighted at this. My brain is also wondering when we can track Rob around the world.

This would be his reaction:

So I've been thinking about how Christmas is celebrated almost everywhere around the world, but in so many different ways. And since, what I've seen anyways, ADF is a forest where we have people from all over the world, it would be nice to share how you will be celebrating christmas this year.

I will start.

Since I live in one of the few countries in the world who celebrates Christmas on Christmas Eve (Sweden), I will be enjoying a lovely Christmas lunch in an hour:

Served with the traditional "Snaps":

Which will be followed by Donald Duck at 3p.m:
  (Yes, Donald Duck is a Christmas tradition in Sweden)

Then after Donald Duck, Mr Santa himself will arrive with presents:

Then it's time to open the Christmas presents:

Then in the evening its time for Rice pudding, Christmas candy and Mulled wine:
 

And ofc, it ends up with some slightly drunk grown ups and happy children ^^

And ofc, i have some presents for you in comments.

Merry Christmas! God jul! Feliz Navidad! Glædelig Jul! Joyeux Noël! Fröhliche Weihnachten!

This is a WHEN IS CHRISTMAS GOING TO BE OVER? post.

Because I know I am not the only one out there who is ready for Christmas to be over.

So, I'm planning my ideal Christmas for next year:

Nix the presents, splurge on the trip to Bora Bora.

Bring along my mom to do the baby-sitting, and my snorkel gear (to keep the husband entertained).

Invite my bff Patron and my old friend maryjane.

And my ipod.

OH, and this man of course:

If you could plan the perfect Christmas, what would it be??

EDIT: all holiday posts are approved until saturday, no prior permission required.  now kiss my ring.

re:EDIT

this was the best i could find because A i'm lazy, and B i suck

TL;DR

Firstly, I am horrible, I am lazy and I am taking up an account on ADF without actually doing anything. I've lurked for a year or so, and it occured to me this morning I have actually done jackshit even when a topic really interests me. Put this down to me and my inability to type coherently when necessary, but I still feel like a cheapskate. So, I have a question.

Being a member of the amazing livejournal sortofawesome and sortofbeautiful, two completely Jacob/Bella centric communities (some more off topic than others) I have read nearly every J/B fic under the sun. I recently finished off reading all the noms for the sortofbeautiful awards, and am in need of some Jacob/Bella humour and/or horrendous breaking of heart action.

Heads up, I fail at html so don't expect me to know how to link these. (But they are amazing, so go type it into a search engine somewhere.)

Some J/B fics I've enjoyed include the ever popular blackandblue's If You Twist and Turn Away, angry_pixie's My Best Friends Wedding and the Elliot Maske series, Choosing the Right Story by drandomtuba and Barking at the Moon by stretch to name a few. I have even enjoyed a couple Edward/Bellas in my time, including Hydraulic Five, Bella Swan: Zombie Killer etc. If you can't think of any specific fics, any links to comms that could offer recs like these? (Also apart of the_gazebo, so you can see those lovely ladies can rec just about anything and get me to like it.)

I've hit a drought, and decided to use this as an excuse to de-lurk. Any suggestions?

GO NUTS!

Company Loves Misery by AngstGoddess003 updated today

Are you guys reading these fics? Which of your fave fics updated today/this week?

I was reading through everyone's responses on the dinner FF campfire. It got me thinking..so I wanted to ask.

If you could replace SM's characters with ones from the fanfiction world, who would it be and from what story?

My Edward would be from: Tides of Fate

Bella would be from Work on Progress

Emmett would be from The Lost Boys

Jasper would be from Just one of the Guys

Jessica would be from the movie NM, cause she was just great! I loved her.

ok, your turn to share now!

(sorry if you feel bombarded with these type of campfires, I just love reading all your stories you post)

sorry for being annoying with an "i need fic recs" post but...

i need fic recs ;)

so tell me what story i absolutely can not go without reading

im not picky :)

NOW. THEY ARE GOING TO STAR IN YOUR FUTURE BEST SELLER.

WHAT WOULD YOU CALL IT AND WHAT WOULD IT BE ABOUT?

ANYTHING GOES.

NOW. GET YOUR ASS WORKING ON YOUR NEXT FANGTASTIC BEST SELLER.

OKAY. THE PUN WASN'T FUNNY. NO NEED TO THROW FORBIDDEN APPLES AT ME. 

Orgasms, that is.

Hi Everyone

Well it's 8am Christmas Eve and let me be the first to wish all Rangers and Campers from all over the world.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Jenny (Demons4eva)

My gift for you - Rob for you Edward for me