Top Ten Ways KStew Celebrates Her 20th Birthday:
10. Hanging out at home. "Relaxing" of course!
Just needed a breath of fresh air before I blow out all these candles!
9. Shopping at The Grove dressed incognito as the 4th Hanson Brother & smirking at the papz when they don't recognize her. Or the Hansons.
One of these kids is not like the others, one of these kids...has a vagina!
8. Getting a mani/pedi with Dakota & stopping for gas afterwards.
"U guiiiiise! Stop taking piiiic-shurs! Y'all are makin' me feel
like Britney Spears with all these gas station pics!"
7. Drinking "soda" & then going target shooting, except all the targets will look like guys from X17 or TMZ.
6. Rehearsing songs for "Breaking Dawn The Musical: Electric Boogaloo & Renesmee Too"
"I need someone older and wiser telling me what to do.
You are 17 going on 107, I'll depend on you!"
5. Renting out a theater to screen Hot Tub Time Machine for all her besties.
4. Hanging out with Jimmy. Preferably in a tree.
3. Doing the Dine 'n' Dash at one of Guy Fieri's restaurants. Payback for the Hanky Panky game on Leno, dude.
She's just so.... fast. And thorough. I'm amazed every time!
2. Putting her pussy to the wood. We'll just leave that open to interpretation.
That's not what I meant by pussy. Or wood.
1. Rob. (See #2)
Happy Birthday, Babe. Do you recognize me without my
signature Hobo-stylings? Budapest has been a bitch without you.
Now, let me show you my cane... 20 lashings.
In all seriousness, we wish the lovely, talented, totally-unique, Mistress of the Short Hemline & Stiletto, a very Happy 20th Birthday. Cheers to you babe! (well, next year anyway).