Sorry. The title has nothing to do with this post....oops. It just got stuck in my head for some reason.
I'm sitting here, at 12:02 PM, Central Eastern time, willing my brain cells to work in a way that will allow me to intelligently complete my homework assignments before, well, tomorrow. I am drinking a Monster, and eating peanut butter M&M's and peach gummies in an attempt to over load it with sugar and caffeine to counter act the effects of my medicine. I'm sure most people on here have no idea, but I have epilepsy-aka, seizure disorder. I have seizures...well, I did. That's what the medicine is for. But the medicine acts like a gatekeeper on my neurons so when it first kicks in, I get this groggy, fuzzy feeling like I can't think-because really, I can't. It slows the neurons down so that they don't cause me to have a seizure. Seizures are like an electrical storm happening inside the brain. Neurons (the little electrical currents that act as messengers between the receptors) start traveling much faster than normal. The brain can't interpret this, so it causes a seizure. There are many different types of seizures, too. There are the grand mal, which nearly everyone is familiar with-i.e., a person shaking out of control. There are also other ones where there is no jerking or visible seizing, like mine.
So, bottom line, I was wondering, how many of you have 'disabilities'? (Which, I hate that word, jsyk. It makes me think of invalids.) If you do, how do you deal with it? Do others avoid you or treat you differently because of said disability? Have you learned to live your life around it, if possible? Do you have a support group made up of other people with similar disabilities as yourself?
I know that when I was diagnosed in high school, I didn't really think it was a big deal or something I needed to keep a secret. Of course, I underestimated people and found myself with about 5 friends and feeling like I was Moses-because everywhere I'd go, people would literally move as far as they could from me, it was like opening the Red Sea. Because, you know, my disorder was contagious and all. Adults are more accepting (at least, some are. Others don't want to be around because they don't want to be responsible if I have a seizure), and most are curious instead of cautious.
EDIT: One final question-Do you feel disabled at all? Because I know I don't, it's just something I have to live with-a part of me. My sister in law always acts as if I have these hurdles I have to get over daily just to survive or whatever, and I don't see it like that at all. Of course, I may be biased.
And I almost forgot, there's one more (see? I'm so used to it I don't think about it!): I'm missing the connecting arteries and veins that connects the internal cartoid arteries and the vertabral arteries in my brain. So, basically, the front and back of my brain get 2 different blood supplies. Which, isn't a big deal....until you have a stroke. The connecting arteries are pretty much God's failsafe to make sure that whichever half of your brain is affected by the stroke continues to receive blood. Without those arteries connecting, you have a stroke-big, small, doesn't matter- and BOOM! dead. Because of this and the fact that my Grandma and Grandpa on my dad's side passed away from strokes before they were 60, I've been told it is extremely dangerous for me to become pregnant. By doing so either I could die, or both of us would. The chances of both me and a baby making it through alive are about...5%? something like that. I found that out when I was 16. Which is fine, I was planning on adopting anyway :)