Bologna pony.

Veined porridge gun.

In/Deflated Clown balloon.

The Kraken.

Heat seeking moisture missle.

Wizard Sleeve.

Dick mitten.

Bearded axe wound.

Bearded clam.

Entrance number 1.

Bitch wrinkle.

PINK VELVET SAUGSAGE WALLET.

Come, come, campers. 

Wouldst thou tell me of the wonderul world of euphemisms we have?

Any euphemisms for:

Peepees.

Vajazzled Vajayjays.

Death.

Intelligence (or lack thereof).

Being drunk/ vomiting.

Come on.  You know you need new ones...

So, this is really just an excuse to post two smoking hot videos.  The first one a friend posted on her Facebook page and I just about watched it all day. For some reason, it screams "EDWARD CULLEN" at me. The second one another ficcer turned me on to, and again, I was with the watching all day. I'll preface by saying there is just something about a skinny boy in a skinny tie.....

Campers katinki and yours caffeinated, LJ Summers, are just two judges in this ANONYMOUS writing competition.

Here's a direct link because (unlike her glorious coolness Emibella, I can't remember the pic-link magic formula) to the Key to the Kingdom information.

Katinki did an awesome post of this before, so I won't put up all the details here.  Just know that this is a super opportunity to have your ORIGINAL YOUNG ADULT SHORT STORY published at the end of Jen Barry's next book in her series.  

Interested? Please click on over.  If you have questions, you should probably ask Jennifer Barry herself (her info is at the site) since we judges aren't supposed to know who is writing what. ;-)

Best wishes and happy Free For All Friday!

it is 2am and in honor of Friday free for all I am sitting here watching all the episodes of Trainwreck on youtube that I have missed and I can proudly say I am so Team Joe(he's a hottie)...and my question is for Jandco...

Are you and Joe an item?? Cuz I've noticed a very pretty ring on your right hand....or are you two just really good friends that have a show together..

Okay on  a different note...

I have realized that I dont know squat about half the people in the fandom except for the few close fic friends I have...so speak up share something about yourself that you wouldnt mind other people knowing...

I am almost 23 and have still yet to get my license(but I bought a car..yeah I know I do things assbackwards)...I am working in a place I utterly hate..the only thing thats good about where I live is the scenery...and I have stopped going to school because I dont know what I want to do when I feel like growing up...um I've never really had a steady bf cuz every guy I got close to crushed me..I love The Beatles and Johnny Depp is my older man crush...

Okay now you go

 lol clarification: jandco and wtvoc are the item.  joe is is a good friend of her husband's.  apparently, a bunch of you don't know she's married and has been for a while...

 Last night we talked about all of the places we've had s-e-x in.  Tonight I want to know your fantasies.  What haven't you done that you want to?  Let's get creative here people.  I know you can.  So give me your real fantasies but give me your fictional ones as well.  You know, the ones that could never ever happen but you love to think about anyway.  And since this site isn't age restricted try to keep graphic descriptions to a minimum please.

I'll leave my answers in a comment.

My PT sent me to the surgeon who sent me for an MRI.

My friend who did the driving is also a very talented young artist.

 I sang loudly in time with the cranking magnets and walked 'sideways' for the rest of the day,.

My dear artist friend decided that she needed to capture the moment (and embellish it just a tad)

So I bring you.... (in the comments)

~~drumroll please~~

~another drumroll please~

~*~MRI: The Aftermath~*~

How did no one post this already?

Every year when Fortune comes out with their top 500 and 100 companies, Forbes Magazine comes out with a much different list: The Fictional 15.

That's right, every year the magazine tabulates and publishes who the wealthiest fictional characters are, and in this, his debut year, Carlisle shot straight to the top of the list.  Other Fictional 15 mainstays include Tony Stark, Richie Rich, Bruce Wayne, and Scrooge McDuck. 

You can see the whole list here!

HAI RILEY. HAI

IT'S FREE FOR ALL FRIDAY!!

MY FAVORITE VIDEO EVER

So, I'm feeling a little down, and ya know what cheers me up? 

KSTEW'S BITCHFACE. 

So spam me with Miss Stewart. I wanna see it all: her best, her worst, her best bitchface, favorite gifs. 

I DECLARE THIS AN ADF KSTEW PIC SPAM!!!!!

Check out the link and tell me what you think, personally I find this rather hilarious

Warning: this info comes from perezhilton.com so IDK how relieable it is.

http://perezhilton.com/2010-04-15-you-know-youve-made-it-when-the-gay-rumors-start#respond

Let's hear them. What are the last five stories you wrote reviews for?

If you posted more than one review for one story you can mention that, but I want to hear what the last five stories you reviewed were. :) 

I'll post instructions on how to get them in the comments as well as my own.

There have been tons posts about things that bother us in fic, but they tend to be major issues or things that are super cliche.

I want to know what are the insignificant details you notice that really bother you, but may not matter to anyone else.

For me it's birthday changes. I know it shouldn't matter, but to me, it does.
Now, I'm not a writer by any means. You will never see a fic with my name on it. There are I lot of things about putting stories together or character development that I will never understand. However, one thing I DO know is that authors should do at least a small amount of research before writing.  SM has some pretty detailed back stories for her characters. I think that's awesome. 
So I find it interesting when the author has obviously done enough research to include things from the character back story, but the birthday is different.  
If you're an author who has done something similar, I'd like to know why. You may have a GREAT reason for doing it, but it's just not very obvious to the readers...we all can be a little slow at times.

For something a bit more positive, feel free to add in some insignificant things that you love finding in fics as well.

Here's some pretty inspired by today's embarrassing crush campfire

it's thursday, so bones is on

i won't be here 'til i've watched it, so talk about tonight's episode, what you want to see happen, and link to any good bonesfics.

and if you spoil any future episodes, i will end you.  wtvoc does not approve of cheating.

omg i can't believe freddy krueger is on tonight's episode i am excite

for everyone's time, and i'm glad i don't write super canon fic lol:

So this is my first campfire and I thought we could talk about prom. I asked Living Backwards readers what their prom dresses looked like awhile back and got the most detailed descriptions of dresses and some really hysterical stories and anecdotes. It wasn’t until after that it occurred to me that I should have requested pictures!

 i think i´ll start a little column here called WHY ?!

Here´s my first

WHY in almost all fanfics are all fellow female students sluts?  I read a oneshot today - at least started and i stopped when the it went something like this ;

and all the girls we´re on their knees offering blowjobs (hypothetocally of course)

really?  I see this all the time and in ALOT of stories the female population is downright cruel and mean to each other ( of course mostly Bella), pushing, shoving, hurting, really outragous rumours.

As far as I know, very few 14 - 18 yr olds do that.  Than again I am a foreignar ya´ll.  What do you say?

So, a few fics that I read have updated within the past couple days and I just finished reading them. The problem? They were all fluffier than a bunny or kitten and now now brain won't tolerate anything even moderately fluffy, so I am asking you for your heartfail fics. Death, losing the guy/girl of their dreams and never seeing them again, suicide...I want it all. Make me huddle up in a corner and cry while I ask myself why I ever made this campfire. Make me want to never even see the word angst again.

FYT:

I find it interesting that Tanya is an ally of the Cullens in canon, yet in fanfic, she's almost ubiquitously the bad guy gal. I have been giving this some thought, and I've come to a sickening conclusion.

Everyone vilifies her because of jealousy - she hit on Edward & this is a fandom full of dames who are prepared to hate on her just for that. I hate that we, as women, are trained to be so horrible to each other like this.

Discuss poor Tanya with me. What characterizations of her in fic do you like the best/hate the most/think are accurate portrayals of what her relationship with Edward & his family would really be like.

I cannot STAND her in Loneliness Be Over by Pixievamp, and I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to like her, so I don't feel bad about the hate.

I ADORE her in Breaking News by WriteOnTime. Srsly you guys: BEST TANYA EVER.

And who's your Tanya? I'd cast this gal right here:

So I'm reading this little gem called What Happens at Charlie's Wedding. And I've also read this little diddy by LaViePastiche for Ninapolitan's birthday. So now I'm looking for recs... With BellaxCarlisle and BellaxEdward IN ONE STORY. I always think the dynamic and the plot of those are so interesting. Idc who she's with first, and who she ends up with. But it's always exciting to follow a plot like that...

FYT:

A lot of people believe that the Twilight books were so successful because most girls could easily relate with Bella's character and imagine themselves in her place.

I honestly couldn't find many similarities between Bella and myself because I'm a really outgoing and talktive person so I found Bella to be a little dull.

I love to read & I'm kinda really protective of my friends & family but I think most people are so I don't know if that counts.

So what do you think? Did you find it easy to relate to Bella in the books?