I have no one to talk to here so I have to make campfires....
Let me explain this hotel situation.
The purpose of this trip is the freaking dance competition. And the hotel in Florida we're staying in is like $867564545 a night, so my friend and I decided to split to cost and share the suite. Her daughter is also a dancer, plus she's bringing along another girl (who dances) who's family couldn't make the trip for whatever reason.... which makes SEVEN of us in this hotel.
With me so far?
Here's the thing....
My friend is fairly conservative, and her daughter is REALLY SWEET AND NICE. The girl they have with them is TOTALLY SHELTERED, homeschooled....she's 15, seems to have the hots for my son, but until yesterday, the poor child had NO idea what oral sex was. (I swear it wasn't me who told her---but she was aptly mortified, nonetheless)
Meanwhile, these nice, sheltered people are stuck in the hotel for a week with me. AND MY KIDS WHO ARE INSANE.
I've learned a few things since last night:
~Chanel is the loudest person on the planet (my 12 yr old)
~my children are pervs
~I didn't bring enough wine
~my family clearly has boundary issues
Here are some of the memorable quotes from last night.... (made mostly by my children)
"Are you wearing any pants?"
"Don't lick the hotel bedspread, stuff shows up under a blacklight. My mom watched Dateline."
"I have to stick my feet down the back of your underwear while I sleep"
Me to Chanel: "Stop it, you're in public!"
Chanel to me: "What? I don't do this when I'm alone!"
when the toilet got clogged at 11pm...
Me: "Does anyone have to take a crap in the next 10 hours?" .... four kids raise their hands.... and we proceeded to switch hotel rooms. With 7 people. And all our stuff. In the middle of the night.
And this was only the first night, people.
Song for today (I shoulda posted these last night):