I need a good fanfic to start reading......can you please help I like the ones that are human and normal pairings....smut preferred!!! lol

I read a bunch that are good but so far today I tried to read 3 that didn't hold my interest....Please help!!!

Oh and the story about Pillow humping.....Hilarious!!!

NOW THAT I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, YOU LADIES NEED TO KNOW THAT IF YOU DON'T GO TO CONTROL PANEL AND CHANGE YOUR BIRTHDAYS, YOU'LL FIND YOURSELF LIKE ME: I WAS TOLD I COULDN'T ACCESS A RATED R FIC DUE TO MY AGE. 

COMPLETE WTF MOMENT RIGHT HERE. 

 Ashley Greene, Jackson Rathbone, Kellan Lutz, and Nikki Reed recently posed for an article in Glamour magazine's Relationship section. 

And the pictures are PRECIOUS. 

I'LL LET Y'ALL KNOW ABOUT JACKSON AFTER I MAKE OUT WITH HIM THIS WEEKEND. =)

AND AREN'T THEY ADORABLE?

Depressed about his recent breakup with Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson has taken to humping pillows.

According to sources, Pattinson checked himself in to a Motel 6 in Valencia, CA on Friday. Since then, other motel guests have been complaining about the loud sobbing that comes from Pattinson’s room at all hours of the night. The only time the crying seems to stop is during one of Pattinson’s vigorous pillow-humping sessions, which happen three-to-four times a day, and last for about five-to-seven minutes each.

During the hump sessions, guests and staff members can clearly hear Pattinson’s bed creaking violently while the star yells out at the top of his lungs, “I am humping a pillow.”

Pattinson reportedly comes out of his room for 10 minutes each day in order to allow the housekeeping staff to replace his soiled pillowcases, and to stock up on Lipton Cup O Soups from the motel vending machine.

Motel workers who have seem the inside of the room say it looks like a war zone, with empty Cup O Soups strewn about and the palpable stench of semen and tears lingering in the air.

It is also reported that the walls of the room are covered in Kristen Stewart’s Twilight posters, with the exception of the space on the ceiling directly above the bed, which is reserved for a poster of Pattinson’s shirtless Twilight co-star, Taylor Lautner.

Friends of Pattinson say the star needs to pull himself together, and suggest that he should find fat girl to use as a “slump buster,” adding that there is no shortage of eager fat girls among his “Twihard” fanbase.

SAUCE

THIS IS THE BEST. ARTICLE. EVER.

My man-meat, John - the guy who made this little site

is an uncle again!

ETA: babies are yummy

his sister had a baby girl today. 10lbs, named payton.

plz to be congratulating him here.

i love you, dork.

Hey campers!

So, most of you out in the US may not know (or really care), but here in the UK they decided not to bother will a New Moon premiere, rubbish huh?

So instead they are having a 'fan party' with Rob, Kris, Taylor and some of the bands. We have a magazine called Heat over here and they are running a competition to get tickets for this party, now here is the reason for my post:

The question you have to answer is: What is the third Twilight saga book?

Breaking Dawn, Eclipse or THE LOST BOYS

What do you think? Complete coincidence? Or someone at the mag is a Hwimsey fan?

STILL FANGIRLING OVER THIS.... JUST SO Y'ALL KNOW. 

Asked about the endless rumors of her supposed off-screen romance with Pattinson, for instance, Stewart got nicely fired up. “I probably would’ve answered it if people hadn’t made such a big deal about it,” she said. “But I’m not going to give the fiending an answer. I know that people are really funny about ‘Well, you chose to be an actor, why don’t you just f—ing give your whole life away?! Can I have your firstborn child?’”

Pattinson himself, who clearly loathes confrontation, tried to softly interject with philosophical statements about the need for an actor to hold onto his individuality. But Stewart cut him off. “I’ve thought about this a lot,” she said. “There’s no answer that’s not going to tip you one way or the other. Think about every hypothetical situation: ‘Okay, we are. We aren’t. I’m a lesbian.’  I’m just trying to keep something,” she said. “If people started asking me if I was dating Taylor, I’d be like ‘F— off!’ I would answer the exact same way.” Without missing a beat, Pattinson looked at Lautner, promising “Me too.”

Fiending.  Hmm.  Lots of people are fiending for the answer I suppose...and i support her keeping personal things personal...again, it's noted she interrupts Pattinson (my pet peeve)...

Thoughts?

So I know this isnt Twilight related, but it is awesome.  And definitly made me laugh.  It makes me wonder when there are going to produce a Twilight version.

Cue the jokes about ice cold vampire boyfriends....

ranger edit: this message is approved even though it's non-twilight.  i love weezer, okay?

It was Halloween last week, and me and my sis were wanting something new to watch. All the major horror movies we had covered, so we decided to surf the channels to see something new.

We stumbled upon One Missed Call, and decided to watch it. It was fine, but not really creeptastic enough for me. The only really spooky were the ghostly hollow ppl the characters kept seeing before their deaths.

If anyone of you have watched it, you know that it all revolves around this missed call with a peculiar ringtone. The ringtone is some jingle of sorts.

So yeah, we watched and then we went to sleep. The next morning, I woke up to my phone ringing, with the same jingle playing as the ringtone. When I picked it up, I saw a missed call with an unidentified number on it.

I wouldn't say that it didn’t creep me out, haha. I was a little stunned at first, and then it was like “WHOA! Who’s this?”

I’m basically not a very overtly reactive person, so my reaction was minimalistic, but I was spooked inside.

Turned out that my sister had done it. She had downloaded the ringtone while I had slept and then she asked one of her friends to call me early in the morning.

Gah! I didn’t shit my pants, like she expected, but it was creepy indeed, cause all the characters that got that missed call died. LOL

A friend of mine, who's a twilight fan as well, got these strange letters delivered to her in pretty cursive writing. I don't know exactly what it said, but it was something about Edward watching her. Apparently, some of her coworkers knew about her twilight addiction and they wrote it to just fuck with her brain. She believe then, but it was a nice effort. :)

So, I was wondering…

Has anyone played such a trick on you? On Halloween or any other day, whatever…

It would be nice to hear some similar stories.

Hello.

I was watching a doco about a man who founded a university (Yes, I was bored shitless) and instantly felt like reading a fic.

Well, more of a genre.

I feel like reading a fic when Bella and Eddie are both teachers/one's a teacher.

So, could you rec one for me?

I'll love you forever if you do.

Bribe:

Okay guys, so I have a favor to ask. I am trying to recruit more people into the fandom, both fics and ADF, but I'm finding that a lot of people are afraid of venturing into the fanfic world.

Most of them are scared about tarring what they've read and have come to know from the books, and so are reluctant to read FF's.

So my favor is:

Could you wondergul guys and gals rec some fics that have the following criteria:

~ All vamps

~ Possibly takes place during the stories?

~ NO SMUT (I don't want to scare them off with are pervyness)

~ Cursing is a plus!!!

~ Canon

And I can't think of anymore stuff, but hopefully you all will?

Anyway, I'm sure that this will help forest goers when they want to introduce RL people to the FF world.

I would REALLY appreciate your help!

And here's some Robporn to get you pumped!

And bc, well this is just sick:

 HE JUST LOOKED SO.... DASHING AT THIS EVENT. 

HAHAHAHA, SOMEONE CAPTION THIS ONE.

GUYS, GUYS, GUYS

I DON'T REMEMBER SENDING A FRIEND REQUEST FOR HIM,

AT FIRST I WAS LIKE, "LOL WHO IS THIS?!" SO I ASKED JENN, AND SHE TOLD ME IT'S THE DUDE FROM NEW MOON, AND THAT SHE SENT THAT REQUEST FROM MY ACCOUNT.

DISCUSS YOUR OWN WTF MOMENTS.

Okay girls.  So I had the best day ever today.  I got laid AND I had Chipotle for dinner.  So basically, the only possible way this day can get any better is if we have an ahhhhmazing discussion for our "New Moon Lettuce Wraps," for lack of a better term.

So, lettuce discuss.  We're supposed to be finished with Chapter 8 today, but as always, it's quite alright if you're a little behind, or even ahead.

Here's a thought of mine:

After reading through this for the umpteenth time, I realized that Bella is a really huge freaking tease.  She keeps leading poor Jacob on, then holding him at arm's length!  In chapter 8, Bella says the now infamous line: "Did you know you're sort of beautiful?" to Jacob.  She then says, "Once the words slipped out, I worried that he might take my impulsive observation the wrong way."  ...WTF.  NO SHIT!?  grrrrrr.....and this is only the beginning of the little games she's going to play with the poor kid.

Thank God I'm team Edward, or this would probably ruin the books for me.

Ok so I joined ADF like 12 hours before the new site launched, because I was stalking Bratty Vamp's profile and she said to check it out, and I am hella impressed. I havn't even been on here a week and I already don't know what I ever did without it.

Before I joined ADF, I had no idea that

1. Billy Burke was hott and looks killer as Sid.
2. That The Master of the Universe existed, much less was gonna own me since I started it.
3. I could spend even less time working while at work than I already do

I could go on an on, but everyone knows how much ADF rocks, tell me please what has it done for you?

so if any of you actually listened to dancing this week, you might have heard a little something something about me and some red carpet.

tell me campers, if you were close enough to the twillight stars, what would you do? what would you say?

what should i do? apart from molest mike welch with my hungry eyes.

should i make out with jenny fucking fly?

THE FOLLOWING IS DEDICATED TO MIKE WELCH, ROBSTEN AND MY GIRL TOR:

 Damn...he is so nice to look at!

Papa Swan makes me happy!  

Interactive: Are you guys excited about the characters that will be making their first appearance in Eclipse?  Leah, Seth, the newborns, etc...DISCUSS!!!