Okay Campers, it's time for a serious conversation. I'm kinda hating DOMward and I'd like to hear what you all think. Here's the deal:
I'm reading Master of the Universe. I like it. I also hate it. I have serious issues with Domward. He's a huge asshole. And not asshole in the sexy-hot-needs-a-good-pussy-whipping kind of way. I'm talking asshole in the I'm-gonna-beat-your-ass-if-you-lay-a-hand-on-me kind of way.
Now let me clarify that my only foray into the the world of BDSM (other than the weird REAL SEX specials on HBO at 3am) has been fanfic. And the only sub/dom fics I have read are The Submissive, The Dominant, The Training, and now Master of the Universe. So I fully understand that my sphere of knowledge is quite limited. However, there's a common thread here that I find disturbing.
***SPOILER ALERT***
In each of these stories, Edward, the DOM, has had some sort of childhood trauma. Now I'm only up to chapter 35 in Mof the U, so I don't know what else from his past gets revealed. But in these stories there's some sort of underlying emotional problem there, making it seem like the BDSM lifestyle is for people with serious intimacy issues who act out in unhealthy sexual ways. It makes the Dom look like a sexual predator, or deviant. When these writers write these stories, I get the impression they are trying to shed light on to a little known lifestyle....but all they're doing is making the BDSM lifestyle look even more weird than it already is.
Am I the only one bothered by this? A LOT of you really like these fics. These stories receive HUGE numbers of reviews and have quite large followings. But are any of you also disturbed by the use of sexual conquest and dominance as a means of acting out on unresovled intimacy and childhood abuse issues?
In M of the U... Bella clearly states that Edwards past as a Sub for Mrs. Robinson is "abuse". She doesn't qualify his age (15 when it began) as the reason for it being abuse. It seems to me she considers it abuse because he was young, naive and easily taken advantage of. But how is she any different? She was just as inexperienced!
(And I'm not even going to TOUCH how Edward took her virginity---that's a whole other post!)
And then Bella asks Edward why he enjoys punishing her, causing her pain. His answer...
"It goes back to being 50 shades of fucked up Isabella. I need to control you. I need you to behave in a certain way…
....A bit, to see if you can take it… but that’s not the whole reason… It’s the fact that you are mine do with as I see fit – ultimate control over someone else."
He's admiting to being fucked up, and that's not the only time he's done so.
I realize that I've likely reached my hard limit. I also enjoy the fact that I have the term "hard limit" in my vocabulary. I honestly wonder what so many of you find so attractive in these stories. Do you have fantasies of being dominated? Is it just the fact that it's Edward?
Personally, I could never be a sub. My own personality is too strong and dominating, and perhaps I have my own issues with intimacy and control. My husband calls me a control freak all the time. But does that mean I want to flog him for rolling his eyes at me?
Only when he complains about my very healthy obsession with a certain sparkly vampire and his uber-hot, human counterpart ;)
share your thoughts...