BELLA SWAN: ZOMBIE KILLER
Zombies have taken over the continental United States. Thus sets the backdrop for an epic love story involving a boy, a girl, and her trusty shovel. AU.
This is a crackfic that is well-written and just so funny and snarky, almost every line has a great quote.
This, for instance:
Shovels always make the best noise when you’re bouncing them off a skull.
No, seriously. When I really put my back into it, the sound that rings off a cracked zombie head sounds an awful lot like the quaint tolling of church bells. Or what church bells used to sound like, anyway. Now that all the parishioners are the undead, there hasn’t been any reason to hear that sound anymore. Watching Reverend Osgood chase elderly Ms. Walker down the street and gnaw on her wrinkled old arm was enough to make me glad that I’d never had the misfortune to attend his services. Now there’ll never be any church services ever again, so I won’t have to feel bad about sleeping in on Sundays anymore.
We’ll just have to make up our own religion as we go along, I guess.
I finally read this fic today and I love it.
It's freaking awesome.
You should read it.
Right now.
That's right.
You.
What are you waiting for?
Stop reading this and go read this awesome crackfic.
btw, Rosalie is her shovel.
ETA: IT JUST UPDATED. I'M SO EXCITE.