So I bought three Twilight parodies from Amazon a week ago and I'm currently halfway through the second one. And I'm pleasantly surprised! I didn't really have that high expectations, but they are actually quite good!

Nightlight by The Harvard Lampoon

About three things I was absolutly certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. Second, there was a vampire part of him... that wanted me dead. And, third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogenerously,  gynocologically and disreputably wished that he had kissed me.

Pale and klutsy Belle's new to Switchblade, Oregon; Looking for adventure or, at least, an undead classmate. She finds Edwart, a super-hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls. After some stranger-than-strange events - Edwart saves her from a flying snowball! - Belle has a dramatic revelation: Edwart is a vampire. But how can she get him to bite her and so become his eternal bride?

Lemme tell you, this book was crazy! And so funny! And this Bella is totally self-obsessed and really, really strange lol. Her mum is really like a baby, and Edwart is this shy nerd who just nicely puts up with Bellas strange ideas.  I just have to write an excerpt from the book:

"So what do you think of this dress, Belle?"
I was in a stiff wooden chair in a holding cell outside the mall's dressing rooms, trapped on all sides by stretch satin. I was surprised by how quickly the other girls had broken down, offering their bodies as host to the parasitic enemy: dress clothes. I soberly realized that combat was inevitable. I would do what was necessary to protect my own species.
"It's very flattering, Lucy," I said cautiously, not wanting to reveal how much I knew.
"What about this?" asked Angelica.
"It brings out the grey in your human brain," I said as naturally as I would if she had one.
Angelica knitted her brow and gave me a wary look. Her parasite was on to me. I had to act fast.
"Angelica-- can I ask you a very personal question because I trust you as a friend?"
"Sure."
I tried to think of something friends ask each other.
"Do you ever worry that your white blood cell count is lower than your other friends? I mean, yes, your immune system is fine, but is it the best?"

And this is how "normal" Bella is throughout the book, lol.

New Moan by Stephfordy Mayo (Actually has a warning that says it contains adult material)

'I want to bite you, Heffa. I want to bite you very hard. I'll be gentle, I promise. If you really loved me, you'd let me.'

Heffa Lump is just a typical, pale and interesting seventeen-year-old, who doubts that anyone will ever see her true beauty. But then she moves to Spatula and meets Teddy Kelledy, an impossibly gorgeous boy who eats rare meat, is super-strong and never goes out in sunlight. Could he, just maybe - be a vampire? (Hint: totally.) A tale of first love, painful longing and even more painful pointy teeth, "New Moan" is a hilarious parody of the phenomenon that is Stephenie Meyer's Twilight saga.

I love the Bella in this one! She's totally obsessed with the idea of having sex with Edward (Teddy) and does everything to get him into bed. Edward on the other hand is either very oblivious or very afraid of losing his virginity (I haven't figured out which of them yet, but I think it's the latter). Carlisle is a world famous butcher who really likes to lure his childrens friends into his shop and then eat them (it's not as bad as it sounds lol). Bella is even more self-obsessed in this one, and her big dream is to become the main heroine in a book.

Excerpt:

"Nothing will ever come between us," I reminded him. "We have all the time in the world" My mind drifted into a reviere, years and years of waking up with Teddy, of him watching out for me, with his large horn and his strong arms. I shook myself out of it as we sat side by side on a bench by the school entrance. "Maybe we should take it slow, I don't want to rush into anything. Maybe just some oral to begin with."
"Just talking?"
"Yeah, or that." I smile up at him. It was probably a good idea to get to know each other, likes and dislikes and so on, before we moved our relationship forward, since we hadn't really spoken about anything other than his vampire problem and our deep feelings. "So, tell me, what's your favourite position?"

And just because I found Teddys diary so hilarious I need to show you some of his diary titles:

DAY 1 WITHOUT HEFFA. People killed: 0 (Brilliant, keep it up). Cats killed: 3 (But fairly sure they were feral). Hours spent subsumed in misery: 18 (Disappointing, but it is first day).

DAY 2 W.H. Hours spent hunting: 7 (Bears 4, Wovles 7, Rabbits 18, Goats 25, People 3 - Whoops, will go back on wagon tomorrow). Hours spent subsumed in misery: 5 (V. Good; hunting excellent distraction).

DAY 3 W.H Tourist attractions visited: 1. Vampires met: 0 (Sadly). Americans met: 20. Americans killed: 0 (Go me!). Hours spent in hollow pit of despair: 9½.

TwiLite: A Parody By Stephen Jenner

Love between a teenage girl and a vampire can be a beautiful thing. Then again, it can get a little ugly. Just ask Stella Crow. Stella is a clumsy but otherwise ordinary girl whose life takes a radical turn the moment she meets Edweird. Though perfect on the outside, Edweird Sullen is remarkably unrefined on the inside. He also happens to be a one hundred year old vampire, trapped in the body of a teenage boy, who has yet to finish high school. Nonetheless, Stella is unconditionally smitten with him. But not everything is rosy in this gloomiest of towns. Edweird's enemies have sworn to put a tragic end to their romance. Against all odds, the bond between Stella and Edweird is nearly strong enough for their love to survive. Most love stories between an impossibly handsome vampire and an ungainly young woman have a magical ending. This one - not so much. 

Haven't started to read this one yet, except for the 3 first pages to see what it was like. And so far, Stella seems to be the only normal person in the whole book. Ger mum is travelling with a circus as a sidehow freak and her dad wants her to call him 'Police Chief Harley, King Of The Universe'.  I guess we'll see how this one plays out. 

Anyways, have any of you read a Twilight parody, perhaps one of these? Or am I the only one whos dumb enough to try these out lol?  (I recommend the two first btw)

Wow, this turned out to be a loong campfire!

Hmm so, my first campfire...wow what a great topic (eyes roll).

I don't know if it's just me or all of you, but 71% of the time I start reading a new story, half way through the first chapter/prologue, I'd immediately stop reading it.  So why is it that I do that? Sometimes, it's not that the quality of the writing is bad (OK, FINE, the writing is horrible, the descriptions are cliche and repetitive), it's what the story is about:

Mostly, I despise stories that mainly center about Bella or a main character being sexually assaulted/traumatized by (E/J/J)  in the story  but somehow loving him anyway. WTF is that?.

Does anyone have a peeve?

Has anyone been to the comic con  with Twilight or attend the Twilight convention or does anybody plan to go? share your experiences( I would love to know what happened (^_^) ) or what you hope to do when and if you go! Also if you have been to a meet and greet :).

Uh, no not the band. Although we could talk about the band if ya want. Personally I'm not a fan.  *shrugs* 

~ So last night The Lost Boys was on Spike. Man, I love that movie.  I was always torn between wanting to be a Frog Brother and being a part of the coven. 

On the one hand you get the two Coreys and the other guy: 

Then again....Scary Keifer always did it for me too: 

We'll let Michael go either way since he flips flops...

~ I read this awful book, "Dead and Unwed?" OMG.  It was terrible. I forced myself to read it because for god sakes I'm 9 books into the Southern Vamp Mysteries, I can take awful and I figured it had to have some redeeming factor.

Yeah. No. Nope. Nada. 

Normally I'd try to read the 2nd one, just for research purposes, but ummmm...not this time.

~ Read The University of Edward Masen update.  How hot was that lecture?? Care to speculate what all the head shaking at the end was about??

So what'd you do this weekend?

Can you recc me a non-awful vamp book series?

What's your all time favorite vamp movie?       

Hello there, campers of ADF. It is 7am for me and I have nothing planned today so far. Everyone in the house is sleeping, thank god, and I'm on the computer listening to my ipod. Trolling the forest, tweeting like crazy, and staring at this word document.

Yeah.

Anyhow, I'm trying to write, but it's just not coming out right. My writing steak has been going pretty good these past few days but now...it's just dead. It bothers me. So, here I am procrastinating of course. :) And here to ask for advice.

What do you do to inspire yourself? Look at pictures, listen to different music, get off the computer completely? Le gasp.

Most of the time I just wait till it does come, but right now I actually want to write. Though I can't. Mhmm.

So help me out? Please? For your time, of course :

We don't get enough of him. :)

Does anyone know where the story " Voice " written by Stormi2397 went.

I was reading it, but I can't find it anymore

booksgalore and i were discussing the differences between actual handwriting and typing, so i'm jes wonderin'-

do you type your fic or handwrite it first?

me and jandco write in notebooks first. 

what's your ~process?

 err, this is spoiler-y if you haven't read the recent dear isabella update

also lol i forgot to post this picture of the shenanigans of jennyfly, jennday, and wtvoc at hollywood & highland

I just finished the outstanding "Murmur of Fire in the Vein".  I loved it.  If there's anyone who hasn't read it, I highly recommend it!!    Can anyone rec. me some multi chapter Jasper/Bella stories?   I'm in a Jasper/Bella kinda mood.   Thanks!

Readers

How much attention do you pay a writer's use of location in their fic? If the fic is based in your town, are you nitpicky about the use of places? Do you judge it more harshly than say a fic based in a town you know nothing about?

Writers

How much do you put into the location of your fic? If you're from said town your fic is based on, does it influence your writing? Do you add your fave places (even if you change the name etc)? If you write using another location, do you do a lot of research or do you keep it simple to avoid any headaches/complications?

Tell me something about you.  Anything.  A random fact?  A phobia?  Hidden talent?  Hidden obsession?

I wasn't sure where to post this but I made it for my blog. I rec fic's once a week and I am beyond anal...if I can't find a banner/pic for the story...well, I make one.

I just wanted to post it in case anyone else wanted it.

my blog is www.whynotrpattz.com

Anyway, what do you think of this year's nominee's? Who do you think will win? I don't think there's anything twilight related but there are plenty other hotshots deserving our attention.

And if you're not aware of the nominees here's a link to learn all about them http://www.moviefone.com/golden-globes/nominee-winner

My personal favorite is Neil Patrick Harris who has been nominated for best supporting actor in a series made for television. I.LOVE.HIM.

This cracked me up (by GiilZaoW)

Anyway, who's your favorite? Who's your least favorite? Is anybody else watching or is it just me???

Ranger ETA-This is the official Golden Globes Award Post! Put all pics/commentary here! Thanks for starting this!

Are you desensitized to all the sexin' in fanfic?

There has been a lot of talk about the MA fics that are out there.

Have we escalated everything beyond reasonability?

Where will we go next with the entire topic of sex in fanfiction?

What would you like to SEE happen?

if you could choose a different title for the Twilight series, what would it be?  (whichever book)

and why?

Mine: ( I actually have no idea, but this was an essay question and I thought I'd apply it here!)

So, there has been a lot of fan fic rec campfires here lately and it got me thinking...where do YOU draw the line? What are the things in fics that you put your foot down on and say "Hell no! I'm not reading that." or make your eyes light up and say "I must read that."

Any odd pairings that just make you disgusted? And Bellas or Edwards or any other form of any other character that just makes you quit reading a fic?

What about your "do's"? What makes you automatically want to read something? The things that you LOVE to read about?

ETA: I had to think about mine for a bit because it seems like there is nothing I won't read.

Don'ts: Bad grammer or just plain bad English - if the person keeps confusing words like they're, there, and their I'm out. I stop reading because all I want to do is nit pick through the whole thing to find all their mistakes.

American characters talking like Brits. I love the Brits and their slang and everything, I do. But when you have a character that is American and has never been outside the country using terms like "bangers and mash" or "car park" it erks me. This is why you find a Beta who is American and can help you change these terms into American sayings.

Anything where Carlisle and/or Esme are the main characters. They are the parents, I don't really care what they do in the bedroom, nor do I want to here about their day shopping at Bed Bath and Beyond.

Wolves. I'll read a story with the pack in it...I just don't like them as the main characters.

Dos: ANY type of Edward. Even if he's a serial killer and kills everyone in sight - including Bella. I'll read it. As long as he has an opinion and not a doormat by the end of the fic, I'll read it.

High school fics, but only a select few. There was one the alleb wrote - then later deleted - that I absolutley LOVED. Or something like TOV...I can't do the whole "OMG! Look at her hidious outfit! I heard she slept with Tyler on Friday night even though she's going out with Mike. What a sleeze!" I went through high school and never cared for the petty drama crap then, I don't want to read an entire fic about it now.

Period pieces. I know some people hate them, but as long as they did their research and I'm not hearing about a car that was made in 1934 being driven around in 1890 I'm good. but this probably has something to do with the fact that I've been doing reanacting since I was in diapers for the time periods 1750-1918.

Pairings: Ed/B, Ed/J, Ed/J/B, Ed/C, Ed/C/B....almost ANYTHING as long as Edward is in it, except for Edward/Nessie, Edward/Rosalie, Edward/Emmett and Edward/Esme I'm good with about anything.

Hey ladies....

I need some assistance!! I was reading a really good fic that i was totally into and my computer had a coniption and i lost it....and now i can't seem to track it down!! 

It was something like "A life in Ruins" or "Life in Ruin" or something along those lines!! It was about a darkward and Bella.....both working at a library, they meet on the train everyday on their way to work. Both with some darkness in their pasts....something bad happened to Bella with relation to earthquakes and Edward lost his parents and baby sister when he was young.....

Please help :) i really want to finish it!! Thanks girls....Much love for the help!! :) 

I just finished reading forevergold's awesome story "To Be Stabbed In The Front" (you should read it if you haven't already) and now I'm really bored, grrr! So, I was thinking, do you guys know any good story to rec me? It must be ExB AH. No Jacob.

Btw, I would happily give you some eye candy, but I don't know how to post pictures here, sorry!

Here's some eye candy:

*sigh*